It’s easy. It’s soo easy to just act depressed; like everything is going wrong. It’s so easy to keep it short with people. It’s so easy to just whine. It’s so easy to frown. It’s so easy, it’s scary. And I know I’m not the only one who realizes this. When I’m in a bad mood, it scares me to be honest. I hate being in a mad/sad mood. But it’s so easy to just sit there and not go anywhere or do anything.
I just want to sit and cry and allow my thoughts to remain on what is going wrong. Believe me, there is a lot! I hate to say it, but it’s true. My life isn’t perfect. No one’s is. We all have pains, struggles, hurts, and hardships. All of us.
But I dont want to just sit here and stay sad. I dont want to be fake and pretend like everything is okay, but being a drama queen wont help anything. If I want help or advice, I should just ask for it. If I want someone to cry with me, I should just ask for it. It’s not like I dont have friends who would be willing! I dont know why I dont like to ask someone if I can vent out to them. It’s hard for me to find someone to talk to. It’s not that I dont trust people. I dont know what it is.
Everyone goes through bad moods, has bad days, and gets hurt. It’s just because of the world we live in. It’s broken. But we can grow through these times. But with these moods, days, and hurt, we have a choice:
we can sit and complain all day or we can do something about it.
Like I said, it’s easy to just sit and complain. But where will that get me? Not very far at all. I might feel better after I get it all out, but then what? Keep doing it until I somehow feel better? It doesnt work like that. If you always have negative thoughts, wouldn’t that affect your mood? It makes sense to me.
It’s hard. It’s very hard to choose to think about the positives. But it will help me. It will make me realize how selfish I have been. Which is a good thing. Because once I realize it, I can change it. I dont want to be selfish. Who wants to be friends with someone who is constantly selfish? Not very many people.
I’ve been having a bad week. Nothing in particular, but everything in general. It seems like a lot of things are going wrong. I dont know why. I dont know what is going wrong specifically. It’s just one of those weeks, you know?
And I’ve been feeling it lately. It’s been hitting hard. Some friends change, leave, lie, are selfish, and some just dont care. That’s not to say that all my friends are! No way. Most of my friends are just amazing people whom I love soo much. I love all of my friends to be honest. But lately, I’ve been hurt by friends without them realizing it. I guess I could just sit here and go on and on about how much they’ve hurt me. But that would not be fun, nor would it be right. I love those people. I hate talking about people behind their backs. I always feel uncomfortable! I just dont like it at all. And I dont want to always focus on it. I have already thought about it. I have already complained about it. I shouldn’t just sit here and do nothing. If I want something to change, I should confront these people.
It’s so hard! If I’m going to be honest, I dont want to. At all. I hate confronting people because I feel like a jerk. But I’m not a jerk for being honest and wanting to better our relationship. Otherwise, I’ll get bitter and things wont go right at all.
I just dont see the point in publicizing my hurts. I dont want to depress everyone! And I dont want to seem desperate for attention. I dont think people truly know me. Not very many people know much about me. I’m not blaming them, I’m just making a statement. It’s not bad or good. It just is, I guess. I think a lot of people see who I am and make assumptions. I mean, I dont blame them when I do the same thing. And I dont think it’s bad things. It’s probably like “wow, she’s happy all the time. She is always smiling” or whatever. Which is true. I am happy most of the time and I do smile a lot. Because I dont focus on the bad stuff in life.
If I really wanted to, I could just sit in the corner and cry all day long. I could never smile, never laugh, never have fun. But, what would be the point in that? I dont get it! I dont mean to say “hey guys, fake it! just smile and it’ll be okay” NO! Not at all. Be real. But dont dwell on the negative. It will affect your mood and who hang out with you. If you need encouragment, help, advice, love or anything I know people will be willing to give it out. I know I will be. It doesn’t matter who you are.
This turned into something way longer than I had anticipated. Opps. I guess I just have a lot on my mind.
And to think this all started with me wanted to tweet something semi-depressing. :) My mind truly does like to ponder things
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