Ahh

I just told my mother.
Which is weird for me to say. I trust my mom a lot. She is such a blessing in my life. And I know that I can talk to her about anything. But with this? It's just different I guess. I dont feel as if she would support me or encourage it. I would feel as if she would look at me differently.
But I know she wouldn't at the same time. It's this neverending cycle of confusion I suppose.
Either way, I told her. I was honest. And I wish I could have finished the story. Oh well, I'll save it for another late night.
I dont even know why I'm so scared to talk to my parents about boys. It's weird. I feel like they would look down on me. But they wouldn't. Ahh, I just repeated what I said a few lines before. This is so weird. I just want to be honest with my parents.
When I told my mom, she just said that she knew that there was something I wasn't telling her. Which is weird! Haha. My mom is a mind reader.. creepy? Yeah, pretty much! :)
Anyways. Things are going fast and crazy. But I'm only 16. Nothing will happen. I dont want anything to happen. I'm too young. I'm not ready. I want to know myself better before I get to know someone else in that sense.
God, take everything that happened tonight. I'm overwhelmed with good, bad, and anxious thoughts. I dont know what to think. I dont know how to feel. I know what to do. Please help me. Guide my steps. Open my eyes to what you see, not just what I see. I love you with all that I am. I'm living my life out for you! Things are weird right now. But it doesn't change anything with you. You are constant. Thank you. I lean on you, not myself. I am yours.