Whoa.

Today was so weird. I had a meeting with Angel Esqivel about Cadres. For a while, things just weren't going how they should go. It's a long story. If you are in my Cadre, you know what I mean. But anyways. Keriann, Mary, and I sat down with Angel and were honest. We told him how we were feeling and we got somewhere. It wasn't a meaningless, pointless meeting.
One of the results involves me. Eeek! Mmkay. So. Angel suggested that I colead the Sophmore Cadre. I am totally for it! I asked Mary and Keriann how they would honestly feel if their peer, me, would lead them. Because I know if I were to be honest, I wouldn't like it so much if someone my age, in my grade, was leading me. But they were both for it.
Should I be excited? I am. But I'm not. I'm nervous! I'm only 16. And I dont know if I'm ready quite yet. Like I said in my other post, I dont know if I'm leadership material. But I guess this is God's way of showing me that I am. Otherwise, he wouldn't have put me in this position. I just really pray that I lead these AMAZING ladies more to Jesus. I hope that my story and my experiences and my struggles can help them get deeper with Him. I pray that I am a leader before a friend. I want to help them grow, even if it means I'm hurting their feelings. Not that I will intentionally hurt them! That's not it at all. But I can't hold back God's words just for the sake of "feeling good."
I dont know how to feel, to be honest. I just want Jesus to use me. I'm scared. But I know this will challenge me in the best way possible. I need a good challenge. Alright Jesus, I'm ready. I love you.