Wishing.

So sometimes I wish I had a genie to grant me 3 wishes. Actually, in all honesty, I would want more than just three because hey, I'm selfish. But regardless, I would want three wishes. One of them being perfection. Perfectiong for myself, my family, my situations, my thoughts, and my world. But obviously I dont have a genie. Otherwise, I would be very rich!

I spend too much time wishing and not enough time praying. I waste all my time daydreaming about "if only" or "if when" or "if this happens.." or "if I had this.." You get the picture! That's just something that God has been telling me lately: stop wishing and start praying & making a difference. Because prayer is soo powerful. And I think I underestimate its power most times. That's a long story and it's not where I was planning on going with this blog! Another time, my dear blogspot.

I have a lot of maturing to do. I have realized in the past few days how immature I truly am. And yeah, I've never truly seen myself as "fully mature" but dang! God really opened my eyes tonight. It was good though. He showed me areas in my life that I need to work on. One of them is maturity. I have to watch my mouth. It's one thing to make a joke, it's another to take it too far.

Another thing God showed me just an hour ago: Stop pouting! Dont just look at what is going in your life, but think about things from a bigger perspective. My mom wasn't sure about letting me have coffee with a good friend when he had questions about Jesus because of multiple reasons. And my initial reaction: I'm old enough to take it. I know what I'm doing. I am a big girl now. I can handle it, mom. Why dont you trust me?

But that wasn't a good reaction. It was selfish. But after I had my time of pouting, God told me a few words! I had asked him to talk to me tonight. Boy, did he ever. He reminded me, in a loving way, to pray about it. If He wants me to help my friend, I'll be able to. But it's not ME who is doing the saving, it is God. Not me. And I had to be reminded of that. Yes, I can help him, but no it is not ultimately me who grabs ahold of his heart. It's Jesus. And it's my friend's decision. Not mine. I am simply a servant for Jesus. And if Jesus uses me, what an honor! But it's up to him, not me. It was a good reminder!

There are so many thoughts going on in my head right now. I'm stressing out. I work a lot again this week. It's a good thing! I know it is. It just cuts into my school & social lives. I also am scheduled to work on a night of a choir concert. A big one. And now I have to tell my boss that I cant work that day. Man, I hope things go smoothly!

I'm going to bed. I need some sleep. Dear Jesus, I love you. This week is yours, as crazy as it is. Whatever you want, I'm down. Take my life and all that is in it. I wanna live for you. Rid me of all that gross sin and evil. Thank you for forgiving me always. Thank you for loving me. You are incredible. I love you! .. again.